Marriage Accountability

(This blog post is written by Cheri Blair, who is one of our LifeGroup leaders at the Northwest campus. She also writes a blog for the Metro Family Magazine website called Perspectives from a Christian Mom, which you can read at this link: http://www.metrofamilymagazine.com/perspectives-from-a-christian-mom)

by Cheri Blair

It has been so awesome to see God working in the marriages in our LifeGroup! As people are intentionally looking at themselves in their marriage instead of at their spouse, amazing things are happening. With one particular couple, God used circumstances that seemed to be the last straw to do bring about a miraculous change.

The husband, I’ll call “John”, had been doing his best to make his wife feel happy, secure and loved. They had so much going for them and really no major issues like addiction or infidelity to overcome. So why the misery? Why had this beautiful home become a place of contention and strife?

As the circumstance unfolded, the wife, whom I’ll call “Sally”, made a decision that revealed the problem.  This decision made John feel like he was untrustworthy, not enough, and set them against each other like enemies instead of partners. John was finally done. After several years of going to counselor after counselor and having Sally try to “fix” them by even starting their own marriage group so John would have to attend, he was exhausted. Feeling disrespected and out of ideas, he felt it was finally time to end  the marriage.

That was the last thing Sally wanted! She knew she wasn’t perfect and didn’t have it all figured out, but she was trying so desperately to find a way to have something more! Fearful that there was nothing left for her to do, she and I talked and prayed. God made it abundantly clear that every move she was making in her life and marriage was out of fear! Fear was driving her to try and control their family, finances, and to not even trust the love of her life!

That weekend, John had a business trip that took him away for four days.  In that time, Sally desperately prayed for God to reveal Himself and TRUTH to her.  Wish I had time to tell you  the many details of how God opened her eyes! One of the biggest revelations came through Pastor Groeschel’s sermon on marriage. Sally saw that she was that contentious, controlling wife he was describing in the Bible!  She also began seeing that her fear was a root problem in her life.  As a four year old child, Sally lost her mother at the hands of her own father.  She had grown up with that huge loss and the knowledge that her father could not be trusted. Deep wounds that set her up for insecurity, lack of trust, and a deep need to be loved.  No wonder she couldn’t even trust those closest to her!

As God began removing the veil that covered her eyes, she was suddenly able to see that she must first come to trust in God and His Word.  She instantly was able to see her husband with new eyes!  Her life was dramatically changed by TRUTH being revealed to her by the power of the Holy Spirit promised in scripture.  He truly gave “sight to the blind” and removed fear, doubt, and all lies that had bound her marriage to a certain death.

John came home after his trip and Sally told him about the TRUTH she now could see and how wrong she had been.  In all reality, she had been the one who needed a transformation!  Although John was skeptical, he stuck it out to see if the change was for real and if God had changed his wife.  Sally now is walking in a new place of peace and joy because she knows she is trusting in God to be her source for everything!  Now she is free from fear and can love her husband!

It is so exciting to see God do what His Word says He can do in our lives! We get to experience Him and be a living testimony to God’s truth, grace and mercy.   I hope you are encouraged that God can give you wisdom and understanding even into your own self so that you can be set free from fear, anxiety, and anything else that keeps you from the abundant life God makes available to us.

God is good, all the time….all the time, God is good!

About Cheri Blair: A native of Oklahoma City, Cheri Blair has been married to Tim for 22 years and together they have six children—three boys and three girls ranging in age from five to twenty. Three of the kids are now in public school, two are homeschooled and the oldest is in college. Adding to life’s challenges, one of the children is autistic or on the autism spectrum. Cheri’s ultimate passion is to know Christ and share her experiences and love of God with others. She also loves to write and hopes to someday publish books in her spare time.